I realize that you employ high school dropouts with the IQs of gnats as your delivery people. But when one such delivery guy BREAKS THE LOCK ON MY FRONT DOOR in order to come in and out, and then leaves before I realize what he's done, I'm gonna have a problem with that. And then, when I call your store, and yell and scream and beg and plead for someone to come fix it because I CAN'T CLOSE THE DOOR SINCE THE DEADBOLT HAS BEEN YANKED ALL THE WAY OUT AND IS STUCK, and you tell me nothing can happen until Monday, I'm going to start crying. And spew through the tears that I'm a lawyer and won't put up with this. (Yeah, that went over well. Saying you're a lawyer while crying isn't very threatening.)
Luckily for you, my super, who at first said it wasn't his job to fix something that delivery men broke (wtf?! he's the SUPER and I was gonna pay him extra!) had a change of heart because I "live alone and don't have anyone to help me" (thanks, Mr. Super, for reminding me) installed a brand new lock in the door, costing me $100 in cash, $50 of which were for his trouble on a Saturday. Unfortunately for me, the super couldn't give me a receipt so when I call you on Monday and threaten and bitch and all of that, you WILL take off at least $100 from my bill without any problems.
Sigh. It's always fucking something.
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