Tuesday, December 30, 2008

What I did on my winter vacation...

In semi-chronological order...

Underwent year end review in which I was told nothing but good things but as of yet no hard numbers for this coming year's salary.
Got appropriately drunk at office holiday party.
Arrived at my parents' house to find out that their hot water heater had died.
Took two days worth of showers at out of town neighbors' house.
Got some fun loot. "How to Cook Everything Vegetarian", fancy running gloves and a desperately desired headboard for my bed being the best.
Came down with the mother of all colds.
Spent literally a full day in bed in and out of sleep.
Went to a yoga class with my mom.
Remembered how sore yoga makes me the day after and vowed to do it more often.
Saw Marley and Me. Wiped tears and snot all over my shirt sleeve.
Came back to New York.
Nearly cleaned out my DVR.
Wondered why Heroes hasn't been shitcanned yet.
Had a final day off.
Billed 4.7 hours during my final day off.

Working tomorrow and Friday. I hate New Year's Eve but will probably end up at a friend's apartment party if I'm no longer blowing my nose every three minutes.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Dear President Bush and Congressmen and Senators of the United States of America,

I have a small proposition. You are in the midst of giving Wall Street and the Big Three (at least two of them) many many billions of dollars because they made terrible financial decisions over the past decade or so. What have I been doing over the past decade? Well, let me tell you. I graduated from high school very near the top of my class, went to a very good university where I worked part time and signed many loan contracts and my parents still had to scrape to pay partial tuition, then went to a very good law school where I again worked part time and signed many more loan contracts. My brain is worth somewhere in the range of a quarter of a million dollars.

Now, just like those Wall Street tycoons and auto executives, I have a bit of a problem. I'm in a lot of debt and I have no hope of getting out of it by myself for the foreseeable future. Granted, if I had to file for bankruptcy, no one else would lose his or her job. But I'm pretty sure lots of people are still going to lose their jobs even with your help to Wall Street and car people.

So what am I asking for? A pithy little one tenth of one percent of what you've given these yahoos. What's another $150,000 to borrow from China at this point? Just so you know, I'm just gonna keep asking, and it's still gonna be $150,000 each time I ask because you see, even though I pay close to $1000 per month to the vulture loan people, it's mostly interest payments. You know alllll about interest payments.

So, please just think about it. They've done everything wrong and are getting bailed out. I've done (mostly) everything right. Can I get a little help too? Dubya, you could just tack it onto your last few outgoing executive orders before you skip town back to Texas. I know I've said some harsh things about you over the last 8 years but here's your chance to make it up to at least one citizen of this country. Come on, it'll give you the warm fuzzies.

Thanks so much. Happy Holidays.

Harmless Error

Thursday, December 18, 2008

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?

Downing three Advil Liqui-gels with pino grigio probably won't kill me, right? Ok then.

I have a confession to make. I am obsessed with the Twilight series. Stephanie Meyer is a spectacularly bad writer ("till" - not "until" - appears as a word in the first book - hello editors?), but man, does she know how to pull at a girl's heartstrings. Vampires? Eternal love? Grave danger? (Repressed desire and palpable sexual tension?) Sign me up. I've sped through the first two books in two weeks, and Amazon gloriously delivered the third and fourth today. (Merry Christmas to me. Screw everyone else for now. No I haven't done any shopping.) The story's pull is otherworldly, and yet I am fully aware of how ridiculous it is (movie included - which means it will probably end up in my dvd collection). I seriously contemplated calling in sick one day last week just to stay home and read. Yes, I have issues.

I'm supposedly going to the parents' place for Christmas, but I think my mom and I may be fighting. We haven't spoken since Saturday (there was yelling, I hung up), so I may spend Christmas alone in New York.

Yay holidays.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Uh. Fuck?

I sure as hell picked a fabulous time to decide I want a new job.

Sunday, December 07, 2008

Why do I love NYC?

Because even walking down the street in the most overpriced trendy spendy section of the city, that's right, the Lower East Side, where the blood, sweat, and tears of Eastern European early twentieth century immigrants rest, you can still find not one, not two, not three, but four (4!) unwrapped (and therefore presumably used) condoms on a one block span of sidewalk. And when one of them sticks to your friend's drunken heel (yes, even her heel was drunk) at 1am, you can laugh uncontrollably for five minutes straight.

And sometimes? You need a good five minute laugh.

Saturday, December 06, 2008


It's getting harder to go out for longish runs on Saturday. Maybe because it's below freezing right now and Chloe is snoring on my leg.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Fight. Fight fight fight!

It seems like it's all I ever do lately. Fight in court. Fight on the phone. Fight to get on the subway. Fight to make ends meet. Fight the slutty woman who tried to steal my friend's seat at the movie theater the other day (man did she lose that fight). Fight to get out of bed in the morning (not in the I'm-gonna-kill-myself way but more in the oh-my-god-I-can't-MOVE kind of way and would give anything to stay right here).

I hate to get all whiny and WHY ME and everything, especially when other people have to deal with tangible losses, whether it's getting shot by terrorists in five star hotels in India or having your wallet stolen by jerkoffs in Chicago, but.....wait, I'm just gonna stop here. Because I'm thinking I really should.