I didn't actually do any work today. I wasn't hungover. But my brain power on always seems to be pretty much sapped once I get about midway through the Sunday Times. I spent the rest of the day on the couch, watching TV and dozing periodically.
It's gonna be another week of 10 hour days. I know that's not much for a lot of lawyers, but I'm far from making six figures, and I just don't have the drive to work so hard without without (and here's what I've been struggling with the last few weeks) some acknowledgment from my bosses that I'm doing a good job.
My workload is increasing by the day. I have a motion due on Wednesday, numerous discovery responses to get out by Thursday, and depositions Thursday and Friday. And when it's all done and I'm staring blankly out of my window on Friday afternoon, I hope to start work on what needs to be done for my first "mini-trial" on May 22 (the file for which I haven't looked at yet).
It sounds like I'm complaining about the work itself. I'm not - most, of course not all, of it is interesting and complex. What I'm complaining about is that I barely get any praise. Positive feedback is important. Especially for a young person in a competitive career field. I'm not asking for confetti and balloons. Just "nice job on X" would suffice.
I didn't realize this was why I've been feeling so crappy lately until I read this. I don't agree with everything she says, but the part about desiring specific content-based feedback rings true. I don't know if lawyers are bad managers in general, or if because I work in a small firm my bosses aren't as experienced in mentoring people as they should be.
I've come to realize a job is like a relationship (not that I'm any sort of expert on those either). You put in a lot of work, time, energy, etc. You get some amount of reward - money and otherwise. But at some point, you may begin to feel like what you're putting in isn't being appreciated. And then you sit down with the other side, and talk about it. That's where I am. I just don't know what the hell to say without sounding like a needy little girl.
In happier employment news, a big shout out to Grace, who landed her dream job. Yay!
1 comment:
For those who don't need/crave feedback, they'll never understand. For those of us who crave/need feedback, we'll never understand why they just don't give it.
If I were your boss, I'd tell you that you were doing a fine job, unless of course you weren't. Then I'd fire your ass.
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