People Don't Change.

At least, I don't.

A book arrived in the mail from my mother a few days ago. This book was at one time my grandmother's journal, and it contains numerous entries over the years during which she lived with us when I was young. None are very deep or interesting, mostly things like "kids opening Christmas presents. Lovely." "They're not home yet. It's getting late." My poor grandmother - she would have been the FIRST old lady with a cell phone on the block.

Anyway, later in the journal is an entry that I wrote, about a year after she passed away. It's dated December 19, 1992. I was just shy of 12 years old. Neither my mom nor I can figure out who I wrote it to or what prompted it. But what strikes me is that in 15 years, my core thoughts and emotions haven't really changed. Neither has my handwriting.

Anyway, here it is:

12/19/92

I did a lot of things that I shouldn't have done. I was selfish. I wanted too many things at once. I have to learn to be patient. But it is hard for me. I was born that way. I am and will try hard to keep what I have to say that is rude bottled up inside me. When I get angry, it's because I have my own ideas about things. I will not say anything rude to anyone. I should think before I say things, and not jump to conclusions. I should think about money before I get my mind set on buying that. I am sorry for being a "snothead" today.

Love, [redacted]

Still doing things I shouldn't? Check.
Still selfish? Sometimes.
Still impatient and wanting too many things? Yup.
Still a snothead? Absolutely.
Thinking before I say things? Well, sometimes. Professionally, and with my friends? Of course. Absolutely. Naturally. With my family? Sometimes not so much.