I always read the NY Times' Modern Love columns on Sundays. They're full of angst, desire, regret, briefly held joy, but ultimately some kind of disappointment. Always a good read for the closet romantics out there. Today, the editors began running the winners of their College Essay Contest.
Here it is.
Finished? Ok. Something about this girl's essay makes me very uncomfortable. She's a decent writer - I'll give her that. But I kind of think she...might be a slut? (I know you judge people all the time so gimme a break.) She's a junior in college, so she's what? 20 or 21 years old? Unless she's exaggerating the number of guys she has [insert euphemism here - it is the subject of the essay], the girl has been... active. For a long time.
Now, I admit I'm on the low end of the spectrum when it comes to relationship experience. As someone in her late 20s, I alternate between thinking this is perfectly fine and I'm just one of those people who will meet someone fabulous at some point or another and know immediately that it's right, or on the other hand, there is desperately something wrong with me because I don't jump at every guy who smiles, winks, or nods at me.
Still, even this girl with all of her "experience" and whimsical yet disconcerting stories doesn't seem to have any more insight than I do. So what's the point? Those times where I have met someone and then a week later felt only longing and disappointment haven't propelled me any closer to what I want.
Moving on, I'm contemplating whether to join a running group for my training. I'm following an 18 week program, which doesn't technically begin until the second week of June. Right now, I'm just working on keeping my base steady. Yesterday I decided to just go out for as long as possible at an easy pace to see what I can do, which was about 7 miles. Decent for not having trained for anything in a few years, right? The benefit of the training group would only be for the long runs on the weekend. Although, at the height of training before the taper, I'll be running 10 miles on a Wednesday, which boggles my mind right now. The thing is, which I said to my mom yesterday cracking her up, I don't really like people. That sounds worse than it is. I have many friends who plan to be at the race cheering me on with T-shirts reading "Kick Ass Phault, [Harmless]". I kind of feel like no one's going to be running the marathon with me, aside from the thousands of other people around me who will also be in essence, alone, so I might as well get used to being on my feet by myself for hours at a time.
Finally, I'm refusing to post about work until I have something nice to say without immediately following it with something not so nice. Posting may therefore continue to be light for a while...
4 comments:
She didn't come across as a slut to me. Many of her experiences sounded like one time interactions and I didn't get the impression that she'd slept with many, if any, of them. In fact I felt quite the opposite, like she was holding out for the monogamous guy. But I've only slept with about 2% of the guys I've dated so I could just be projecting.
I recommend the group for training. You might find someone you like (I hate people too), or you might not, but you'll at least have company. And misery does love company!
I wouldn't second guess your status/experience/etc... A woman without a long history is MUCH more desirable, especially as a girlfriend/wife. MUCH. At least in my eyes she is, and I'm a 29-year-old mail with a demented mind (if you haven't noticed from my blog). There's something cheap - for guys and girls - about just racking up numbers. At least, that's the way I see it, but if people want to do that, then good for them. Just not what I want and is not what I'm looking for in a mate.
The other day, I realized that I remembered all of the women I've slept with... but it wasn't because I have a great memory...
Keep doing what you're doing. You're too good/wise for all that scene BS.
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