Staycations are boring.

I'm on my third day off from work and I'm bored. Being home during the day watching bad TV, while nice when you're sick or even on a random holiday, makes one feel listless and depressed when the rest of the world is being productive. Not that I want to spend a million dollars traveling, or, to be honest, go to work tomorrow, but being at home has just made me be productive in different ways and not really relax that much.

I paid bills.
I re-organized my closet.
I called five different doctors' offices (I need a new general doc) before finding one with an appointment available before October.

I think I'm going to scrub the kitchen.

You know you need a vacation when...

your dreams include visions of case citations woven into your bedspread, and you're upset because you know the citations are wrong, not because they're there in the first place.

you have to do deep breathing exercises in your office daily.

your boyfriend (!!) keeps emailing you comments about the things he's watching on TV while he takes a week off from work to just hang out at home.

you have to cross the street to get around the tourists just to go grab some lunch at your favorite variety deli.

there are more people in beach clothing than work clothing on the subway each morning.

__________________

I'm taking three days off next week. I could take more, but I want to save the rest for the holidays and random long weekends throughout the fall. I'm excited already.

Stolen Lines

You really don't know what I'm talking about, do you?

It was that hazy, dark, half-asleep yet wide awake period of the night. The hum of the air conditioner almost drowned out the sounds of the late night revelers outside. His arm rested on my hip and I could tell he was almost asleep by the way he was breathing. But he didn't fall asleep. Because I couldn't.

"What's the matter?"

"Mmm? Nothing. Not tired I guess."

You really don't know what I'm talking about, do you?

Fingers moved lightly across skin. How could I be so comfortable and so uncomfortable at the same time?

I sat up, twisting my mess of my hair into a knot on the top of my head.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah." I moved closer.

If I ever wanted to get some sleep, I had to say something.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

"Without freaking you out?"

There was a twitch. I think.

"Ok."

"I just...I need to know that we're on the same wavelength here. We haven't...talked about things really, at all, and I just...need to know how you feel. About...me. How things are going."

Pause. Too long for me. My head buried in between his arm and a pillow.

"I...well, I mean, it's kind of a hard question." WHY? "I really like spending time with you...I wish I could spend more time with you."

You like spending time with me? That's it? My head was swimming. What was I hoping for exactly? I'm crazy about you and can't get enough of you? Did I get the watered down lukewarm version of what I wanted?

I was quiet. So he prompted.

"How do you feel about it?"

Me, meekly: "The same."

"Ok. How does that make you feel?"

I didn't know what to say. Why would I start this conversation if I didn't know what to say? So I said something.

"Um. Maybe a little scared?"

"Why do you feel scared?"

I knew, but I couldn't say it. I couldn't say because it's a risk and I can't get invested more than I already am if I don't know that you're invested too.

So I lied. "Maybe scared is the wrong word." But it was the right word. So I rephrased. "I guess I don't want to get hurt?"

"Well, I don't think that's going to happen."

I was quiet. He had enveloped me with his arms.

He continued. "But somehow I don't think you believe me."

I want to. Really I do. I started the conversation. but I couldn't finish it.

You really don't know what I'm talking about, do you?

-----------------

Line stolen from Kavita Daswani. Courtesy of Grace and Colby in the City.

Repugnant, you say?

So I have to draft a post-trial motion on why the jury's verdict to convict on some charges but not others was repugnant as a matter of law and therefore should be set aside. Whatever. (Aside: I'm a prosecutor at heart and sometimes it pains me to write these things.)

I had big plans to sign onto Westlaw once I got home and sip some wine and do some research, but um, sometimes plans fall through. We've all had that happen, right?

However, in an effort to maintain some consistency in thought, here are a few things I find particularly repugnant:

NYC subway platforms in August
Orly Taitz
David Ortiz (life in Boston in the fall of '04 is now tainted)
Most reality tv
This woman
Facebook turning into nothing but baby pictures (am I really at that age? really and truly? better get crackin')

More information needed

Yes, I can research an issue in my sleep, but if you don't tell me what exactly you want me to focus on and who you want me to persuade about what, I'm going to get cranky. I don't know the trial evidence like the back of my hand. I need specifics. And if you don't want to respond to my email request, have fun sifting through the fifty cases I give you.

"Grey's Anatomy" in space is probably too much of a compliment.

ABC's new summer series "Defying Gravity" is bad. Really, really bad. So bad that I'm mad I'm still watching it and that I will probably watch it next week as well.