Despair.

I went to New York City this weekend. Other than the traffic getting in and out of the city, I had a really nice time. I realized how much I miss my friends. Being in Boston for law school only endeared me to its charms to some extent. I am still more naturally and emotionally connected to NYC. Always have been. The NY bar results come out on Tuesday and I'm just going to assume I passed because letting myself feel the other way is too painful and I've already gone through it with getting the MA results. (I don't know why I thought I should keep the states ambiguous - they're obviously not and no one reads this anyway so it doesn't matter.)

So while I know I will eventually move to New York, I can't begin to fathom when or how at this point. I have no job, don't really expect the coming weeks to bring much in that realm, even though I will have passed two bar exams, have a fantastic resume, an Ivy League undergrad degree, and a J.D. from a good law school which is pretty highly respected at least in MA. The government didn't want me last year, no firm has wanted me, and so I just feel unemployable, which is SO OBVIOUSLY not empirically true. I'm stuck.

I also can't begin to deal with the other issues in my life which I know need attention. Having conversations about relationships and the importance of going to a therapist (I firmly believe everyone in their twenties should at least try it) made me realize just how stuck I am. I cannot deal with anything else UNTIL I am at least living and working on my own. I KNOW why I'm unhappy at the currernt moment. Therapy won't help with that.