Do it Jack. Knock him out.

I HATE Larry King. With a passion. I never understood how a man who asks the most inane questions has been on the air thing long.

But he's interviewing the cast of 24, and therefore I must watch. (Sunday night! I can't wait!)

Sample stupid Larry:

Larry: "Conservative commentator Laura Ingram has said that 24 is the closest thing we have to a national referendum on torture and that people must agree with torture because they love 24. That makes a lot of sense, don't you think?"

Kiefer: Stares blankly, thinking how easily he could shove Larry's suspenders down his throat and pull them out his ass.

Ok, not really, but the point is that Jack Bauer would do that. Kiefer, always the peacemaker, simply states, "Every time my character has tortured someone there has been a negative repercussion of some kind, emotional or otherwise." Love!

Also, Larry? It's a TV show. Both you and Laura Ingram should crawl into a hole and rot.

Um, Ricky Schroder is joining the cast as Kiefer's go-to guy? Hmm. (And he just corrected Larry that he is in fact going by "Ricky" these days because "Rick" never felt comfortable.) And damn, Mary Lynn Rajskub is looking so pretty! Hair and makeup stylists are amazing.

My cousin is an up and coming Hollywood producer, and I have this fantasy that he will cast Kiefer in something and I will literally fly to LA just to meet him and he'll fall in love with me and we'll live happily ever after.

Yes, I know Jack Bauer can't live happily ever after, but Kiefer can. And I can. With Kiefer.

With regard to real life, going to the gym at 6am is making me feel tired. And going to work is making me feel dumb. More on that later.