She must be a tiger in bed.

Mary Matalin is amazing. Not only is she sporting the hair style of a 20 year old, but the insanity spewing out of her mouth is crazier than ever, and the amount of eye-rolling towards her husband definitely speaks to the idea that James Carville looks like a skeleton lately because she's withholding food until he says something nice about George Bush. Even Tim Russert gave James a look of "Damn, that's rough, man."

One of Mary's gems:

"There is great affection for Bush amongst the people who are going to make the decision in this primary... the people who are in this myopic mindset should read [some new book*]. If we looked at contemporary public opinion we would be a slave-holding British colony today and we'd probably be speaking German and the rule would be totalitarian."

Huh?

James Carville spoke at my college graduation in 2003. His basic message was "You should prepare yourself for failure in life because when it happens most people aren't ready for it." Yeah, not so much "inspiring" as "shit, I need a drink." But, being the cynic that I am, I appreciated his unblinking wisdom about our future.

But now, I'm thinking, that speech was probably written after some deep thinking about the state of his marriage. How can two people who disagree with each other's fundamental beliefs spend their lives together? James must have realized this, and he implored our young souls to think hard before making the same mistake. Thanks, dude.

*The book Mary so lovingly recommended to us ill-informed Americans is presidential historian Michael Beschloss's Presidential Courage: Brave Leaders and How they Changed America 1789-1989.

As the Amazon reviewer notes, "Beschloss outlines how several occupants of the Oval Office—including Jackson, Lincoln, Roosevelt, FDR, Truman, Kennedy and Reagan—combined courage with wisdom to change the future of the country, notwithstanding the slings and arrows they earned...None of the author's heroes were saints, but rather flawed men sustained by friends, families, conviction and religious faith. With contenders for 2008 already lining up, this well-timed book might, the author hopes, persuade some to take the kinds of "wise political risks that Presidents once did." Perhaps. But knowledgeable readers should look elsewhere for genuine historical insight. The author's broad brushstrokes necessarily restrict him to painting nuanced individuals and complex times in only basic primary colors."

No wonder Mary Matalin wants people to read this schlock. Who wants genuine historical insight when you can paint nuance and complexity with the colors of fingerpaint? Oh right, George Bush Republicans.