That didn't take long.

If ever there was a day for a rant...

First of all, it's 39 degrees outside right now. It was snowing before, but now it's raining, but it's going to snow again later. Yippee! Snow in October! Oh wait. What the fuck? I like winter. I love snow. I did NOT like it when I slipped and FELL this morning walking from the subway to the courthouse and RIPPED MY SUIT PANTS on the knee. This is so not fixable.* And totally embarrassing. The woman who helped me up was very sweet, but I was near tears. And then I had to explain to the judge why I looked like a homeless drowned rat. And then the judge got snarky with me because I didn't know the 1,475,982 intricacies of the case I was appearing on because, well, it's not my case and I found out at 9:30 last night that someone else couldn't do it because "WAHHH my kid is sick and I'm staying home tomorrow and you deal with it". The judge didn't really like that explanation. But then the ADA looked like a jackass for another reason so we pretty much broke even.

Later, back at the office with my cold wet clothes and freezing feet (I was THIS close to buying drugstore sweatpants and fuzzy socks and wearing them for the rest of the day), I had at least 5 back and forth phone calls with opposing counsel on a case we are trying to settle, and for some reason he thought it would help his case to point out that he's been practicing law for longer than I've been alive and he's never had this much trouble settling a case like this. Well, I'm sorry sir, but I don't give a crap how long you've been practicing. Call me back when you and your client get a clue.

I am now home and just finished a half-assed review of a file for a deposition tomorrow, I'm on my second glass of wine (yes I was drinking while doing work - so SUE ME!), and I kind of wish Michael Myers would pay me a visit tonight so I wouldn't have to get out of bed tomorrow. When it will be snowing.

Finally, I have serious anxiety (I mean it) about what will happen one week from tonight. Screw the polls. I am nervous. I trust no one.

* Kudos to anyone who can identify the movie reference.

I got nuthin'

Nothing at all. I'm tired of ranting. You're tired of my ranting.

Maybe something will inspire me soon. Stay tuned.

Ben Affleck should go into politics.

Because he made a very important and necessary point that the media has failed to point out over the last few weeks.

By way of background, if you haven't seen this, check it out:



And then, behold. Friday night. Go to 5:15 to be precise, although Martin Short is of course hilarious and awesome:

And this morning, former Secretary of State Colin Powell speaks eloquently and almost tearfully about these tactics. Go to about 4:20 for the key:



Simply put, Arab does not equal Terrorist. To suggest or assert otherwise is disgraceful.

Bliss

I have stumbled across an untapped reservoir of beauty. I am now DVR-ing The West Wing, which until recently I didn't realize airs each morning on Bravo.

Good. Old. Days.

Live Blogging the Third (and Last!) Presidential Debate.

CNN has once again collected a group of "undecided" voters in Columbus, OH and we get to see how they react in real time to the candidates' answers during the debate. I'm sorry, but these people suck. What else do the "undecided" want to hear at this point? We are three weeks away! Should Obama do some sort of hula dance? Should McCain name each of the jowels he has accumulated over the past couple of years? Seriously, what else do you want?

Oooh this is the one about "domestic issues." Like that will stop them from totally not answering the questions. Bob Schieffer looks spiffy. And totally botoxy. John McCain is unnaturally smily. It's weird.

Americans are hurting. Blah blah blah. Bob: Would you like to ask him a question? John: Uh, no. HA! Aww, Joe the Plumber was trying to realize the American dream. Poor Joe. Oh wait a minute! JOE HAS A SIXPACK! Joe will be fine! Jesus. Christ.

John McCain says "We have to stop sending $700 billion a year to countries that don't like us very much." !!!! REALLY? Um, like the one we've been in for five and a half fucking years? Hmph.

I don't like this hatchet versus scalpal metaphor. It's like a very boring horror movie.

Ooooooh. NASTY CAMPAIGNING question. Are you FUCKING kidding me? He should have done more town hall meetings with me? Why, because the last one went so brilliantly for you? Ok, John Lewis hurt your feelings. What about your silence when people at your rallies scream "Kill him!" Ass. OMG you HAVEN'T repudiated anything! And if you are right now you are barely doing so! I'm gonna have a heart attack.

Running mates question! Oh Barack, don't slip and and actually say what a fucking idiot she is out loud. Core values, good good. Aww, she's a reformer. Well, a reform guard maybe. Sweat out the old boy crony network? You mean, you? Special needs families? That makes her qualified to be president?

What's with the smirking, John? You look constipated. And the morris code blinking is really starting to freak me out.

Foreign oil question. This is when I get sleepy. "Mortgaging our children's future" is a catchy phrase, but it makes me picture my non-existent kids as little bankers in suits. Which I do not like. Maybe that's the point.

You wanna make an issue of how Senator Obama has never traveled south of our border? Um, your running mate didn't have a passport until six months ago.

For fuck's sake. Can you explain what some of these "preconditions" are that you mention oh so slyly?

Health care question. Break my heart, Barack. Break my heart. Preventative care! YES. I remember when I was 12 in social studies class, and I raised my hand and said, "Why doesn't the country ever do things that prevent the problems we have and the ones we can see coming?" I swear. I was 12 and I understood the importance of preventative care.

My old buddy. Joe the plumber. Six pack Joe. He's gonna fine you, Joe! Be afraid, Joe! Be very afraid! Actually, Joe, he's not gonna fine you. ZERO. I, Barack, exempt small businesses from having to pay. Large businesses, if you don't pay? You're fucked. Oh, now Joe is rich! Congratulations! Now you have to pay a fine!

Joe, I hate you. Go jump off a cliff and stop dominating this debate.

Roe v. Wade! Supreme Court! Ugh, litmus test. I'm a federalist. State's rights. Blah blah blahzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Wait a minute. How could Senator Obama have voted against Justice Breyer? He was appointed to the Court in like 1981 or something. Obama was where? Just graduated from law school? I'm confused.

Rightly decided. Moral issue. Good people can disagree. Women are in the best place to make decision. Right to privacy not subject to state referendum. Good answer.

Pro-abortion movement? Not pro-choice? Ahh, words. You wily rascals. Health of the mother is not a valid thing? Huh? Oh, you're an adoptive parent? Where is your Bangladeshi daughter? Why don't we ever see her? Because someone might yell "Kill her!" Better keep he her hidden, then. Don't wanna piss off Joe the Plumber.

Barack Obama was a constitutional law professor at the University of Chicago. I think he knows the ins and outs of what it "allows" and what is allows us to do.

Education! FINALLY. Parents are important. Choice among schools. Find bad teachers another line of work? Huh? Maybe we shouldn't hire bad teachers in the first place. OMG do NOT talk to me about student loans. They make me cry. Every day.

Haha. Multiple people on Facebook now have status phrases regarding Joe the Plumber. Myself included.

Ok. John. Let me tell you something. Down syndrome is NOT the same as autism. It's just not. Sarah Palin does not know anything about autism from personal experience. Get it straight. It's embarrassing.

Ahhh, closing statements. MY FRIENDS! God, how I've missed the MY FRIENDS. Except, not really. Stump stump stump. Taxes healthcare education stop the spending children's futures trust us or not safe secure prosperous reform record service country first long line of McCains (so fucking what) honored and humbled.

Tough times last eight years crisis risk same failed policies same failed politics fundemental change decency generosity american people brighter days tax cuts healthcare college young people energy economy lift wages grow middle class democrats republicans independents come together honor work every day for you and your children.

THE END! Go vote now! It will make you feel big and strong!

Sublime Pain

You guys. I did it.

26.2 miles in just under 5 hours and 30 minutes. I totally broke down in the last 6 miles. Forget 13 miles being the halfway point. The split is definitely 20 and 6. I started to really hurt around mile 17 but knew I still had a looong way to go, so I gritted my teeth (along with other things) and kept moving.

And then my legs began to HATE me. Somewhere around mile 21 I really didn't think I was going to make it. There were a few tears, but my cheering section got me through it and I don't know if I would have made it without them.

Leave it to a Type A perfectionist to focus on the fact that she could have done it faster (I was on target for 5 hours until the breakdown point), but getting faster will be the goal for next time. I now know I CAN do it. So that's that.

Oh, and my legs? They still hate me. As do my arms actually, and my shoulders, my back, and my heels. Going down steps is the worst (it engages the quads the most), and it may take me an extra half hour to get to work tomorrow because of the subway steps. I've been moving around like a 90 year old lady for the past two days.

Anyway, here's a shot along the course (I think about mile 10):



Crossing the finish line (that guy totally got in the way of my mom's vantage point):



The day after:



Chloe and Sammy (my parents' cat) were tired too:

I'm cold.

I got into bed at 9:30 last night but stupidly kept watching the debate, my friends, so I didn't actually fall asleep until near 11. And then I woke up at 2 freezing my butt off, and am now sitting on my couch wrapped in a a sweatshirt and blanket. It's 46 degrees outside, and that weird time of year when many landlords have yet to turn on the heat in their buildings because it can still climb into the 70s during the day. We pay for electric (including a/c) but luckily don't have to worry about the rising cost of heating oil, except I guess that may be one reason why my rent is going up by $30/month beginning in January. Damnit.

Yesterday was a short run, today's a rest day, tomorrow's a shorter run just to stay loose (but come on - 2 miles? I know myself well enough to know I'll run 3), and that's it. I've had a headache for the last 24 hours which I think is a result of adrenaline that is already beginning to course through my system. I also probably shouldn't have worked on my appellate brief until 8pm, but I was in the zone, and it has to get done before I take off on Friday.

Now I'm going to get into a hot shower, drink more coffee, begin carbo loading (Kashi whole grain blueberry toaster waffles! yum!), and go to court for what is bound to be an adjournment of a motion argument, which is fine with me because if I had to argue the intricacies of this particular statutory scheme right now I would probably have to resort to giving the judge big brown puppy dog eyes instead.

Rising to the Level of Mediocrity.

I know you're probably sick of me whining about politics, but hey, it's my f*%&ing blog, ok, and I'll whine if I want to. At least I'm posting, right?

I hate to say it, but Gwen Iffil, who I generally have a lot of respect for, totally dropped the ball. She was so afraid of appearing biased, she sat there like a wet blanket and let Palin run amok. What kind of serious debate can be had when one of the debaters starts off by cheerfully asserting that she's not going to answer any questions that she doesn't want to and is just going to speak directly to the American people without this pesky media middleman? And Iffil let her do it. It wasn't Biden's job to hold her feet to the fire. It was Iffil's. And she blew it.

For all of Palin's wink wink nudge nudge substance free spewing, at least the general consensus seems to be that Biden won. The moment when he visibly choke up talking about being a single parent was unexpected and powerful. And what did she do? Continue to drone on blithely with her memorized talking points. Granted, how do you really respond to someone who gets emotional during a debate, but it was like she didn't even notice it happened. Or she just freaked out and pretended it didn't at all.

This summarizes my sentiments exactly. And this is pure genius.

One week from today, I will be an official marathoner. As further mental incentive, I'm beginning to tell myself that if I don't finish strong, McCain-Palin wins. And I can't have that.