Full Disclosure: When I had roommates, and could skip class the next morning if I wanted to, I used to actually watch these award shows with people. Not anymore. So I have to get the comments out of my head somehow. Clearly I watch a lot of TV. Not too much. I do have a job. And kind of a life. And some of it's on while I'm doing other things. But there's a lot of good TV. I don't watch the bad TV.
However, it must be said, the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences has had its head up its ass for years. But that doesn't stop me from watching the beautiful rich people congratulating themselves.
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Terry O'Quinn? Yay Locke, you infuriating mindfucker! Academy, am I wrong about you?
Katherine Heigl, I love you. You're so pretty. And not a stick. (sidebar: the sight of Felicity Huffman's ribs through her skin really saddens me.) And you brought your mom. But if Izzie doesn't get her shit together this season, I'm gonna start holding you responsible. Talk some sense into the writers, please.
Remember when Christina used to be jealous of Britney? Hee.
Kiefer's a horseman? I wanna go riding.
I should watch Roots. I love me some miniseries. I own The Thorn Birds. Shut up.
Hayden Panettiere, you are young and beautiful. Why are you wearing what appears to be a maternity dress?
And the Emmy goes to The Sopranos. Shocking. (Peter Berg, I will love you 'til the end.)
And the Emmy goes to The Sopranos. Academy, clearly you're still lobotomized.
The Daily Show rightfully wins: "This year we actually got to send a couple guys to Iraq. And they found laughs in hell." 'nuff said.
Who watches Criminal Minds? Anyone? Bueller?
Christ. The show is over. It ended on a big fat note of suckage. Let's move on. Stop clapping. Everyone off the stage. You too Gandolfini.
How long will The Age of Mirren last exactly?
Lewis Black is a fucking genius.
The less Ryan Seacrest is actually on screen, the better.
God, Felicity, do you have a tapeworm?
Yay Sally Field!! Um, wait a minute? Did they just BLEEP OUT Sally Field because she was talking about how if mothers ruled the world there would be no war?! Fuck you, Fox.
Shit, I have to be up mad early. Why are these things so long?
Oooh, Debra Messing looks hot. (Clearly any wit I had has devolved with tiredness.)
Ugly my ass. America Ferrera is drop dead beautiful.
FUCK. James Spader. Again. So over-rated. And he's aged badly. Kinda marshmellowy. Was that mean? Fuck it. He has more money than I or anyone I know ever will.
I really gotta get on the 30 Rock bandwagon.
Aaaaaaaaaand The Sopranos. Knock me over with a feather.
Although, David Chase did have a last good line: "If this nation were run by gangsters...well, maybe it is." Heh.
Fuck. Tomorrow's Monday.
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1 comment:
Good work Harmless! You are dead on!
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