Mad As Hell.

and a little bit drunk.

and i still have to run four miles in the morning.

fuck.

however, congrats to those done with the bar exam. and if you were rocked by an earthquake during your first day of essays, at least you'll have a good story to tell.

....

I've started receiving Lucky magazine - "the magazine about shopping and style" - in the mail for the past couple of months. I never subscribed. Not sure what's going on. Does someone in my life secretly think I dress badly and I should, as the July cover exclaims, partake in the "625 Secrets to Looking Great"?

I want the Cohens to adopt me.

Does anyone else have a sneaking suspicion that this whole "work" think isn't all it's cracked up to be? I'm not unhappy - things are going relatively well and I have tons of responsibility and trust from the higher ups and yada yada, but it just all feels so...sigh-worthy sometimes. At least right now. Maybe I need a summer vacation. Too bad I have no plans to take one.

Chloe has a doctor's appointment (yes, a vet, but it's her doctor, so whatever) on Saturday. Nothing but an annual check-up, but as she nears the ripe old age of 15, I can't help but be an overprotected unreasonably worried mommy.

I really need some more variety when it comes to my work clothing staples. Too bad I've spent all discretionary funds in the last few months on cute running apparel instead.

Finally, you don't need it, but GOOD LUCK to all bar-takers this week. You've heard it before, but I'll say it again. You WILL be FINE.

You mean I get to keep eating?

12 miles. Toast with peanut butter, coffee, and water beforehand. Water, gatorade, and a gel pack during. (I should have brought two - last couple miles were brutal.) Ice bath followed by warm shower. Then, more food. I went for a scrambled egg plus two egg whites with shredded cheese and salsa wrapped in a tortilla.

It's barely 1pm. I've already eaten 800-900 calories. But I burned 1200. SO WEIRD.

I'm not doing this to lose weight. I've been in reasonably good shape for years, and just wanted to undertake the challenge. Certain pants do feel a bit looser, which is always nice. But this whole knowing how much to eat thing is worrisome. People tell me to "eat more than you think you should" but I've also heard about how some people actually gain weight during marathon training, strange as it may sound.

Fuck, things hurt. Left hip flexor. Right knee. Left baby toe. Right shin. HEELS. I'm gonna ice, watch the rest of Save the Last Dance on TBS, and possibly take a nap so I'll be ready to take on the dinner and party I have to attend tonight. In flats.

So the bar exam is next week, huh?

I thought it was this week, and then when my office started scheduling interviews for a new attorney (yay for underlings!) for Tues, Wed, and Thurs, I piped up with "Um, people are taking the bar exam this week!" and was then informed that the bar exam is in fact next week and I am clearly an idiot.

An idiot who passed two bar exams, though. And believe me, if I could do it, so can you!

Picture it. Third weekend of July 2006. I had to get out of my apartment in Boston (and my two crazy bar studying roommates), so I drove to my parents' house a couple of hours away. Where I proceeded to alternate between studying, screening frantic phone calls (whatever you do, do NOT compare your last minute study habits to others or you will drive yourself crazy) and eating whatever wholesome goodness my mother cooked for me.

Saturday afternoon, I fell asleep in the backyard while going over some outline or another for the thousandth time. And I got a sunburn. Yes, I was tanning. Hey, two birds, one stone. But I didn't mean to fall asleep. No one came to check on me for hours because they thought I was studying and didn't want to be bothered. Yeah. I'm pretty sure they just couldn't stand being around me by that point, for which I can't blame them.

Nearly thirty-six hours and a bottle of aloe vera later, I drove back to Boston in order to get on Amtrak on Monday and head to NYC for the first two days of the exam. Somewhere on the MA Turnpike, there he was. The police officer whom I will love forever.

Here's the thing. I um, didn't realize the officer was pulling me over. For, oh, a good three to four minutes. Going nearly 85 in a 65 zone. There were flashing lights. Don't ask me why or how I didn't realize I was being pulled over. I just didn't. My thoughts, inexcusably, were elsewhere. Eventually I realized what was happening, nearly peed in my pants, and pulled over immediately.

When he walked up to my window, I could tell he was expecting a confrontation. Instead of giving him one, I immediately burst into tears and began apologizing profusely. In between my sniffles and pleas regarding how I was broke, so so broke, and could he make it a small ticket, and his "Ma'am, it's ok, calm down", I must have gotten to him. He pointed at the Barbri books scattered on the back seat, and asked when the exam was. "Two days," I replied.

I didn't get a ticket. He told me to slow down and take it easy, wished me luck on the exam, and proceeded to get into his cruiser and take off....into my heart forever.

Moral of the story? If, between now and the start of your bar exam, you find yourself in a situation totally of your own making, and you would never otherwise stoop to such a level, I give you permission to MILK IT FOR ALL IT'S WORTH.

The end.

P.S. The Dark Knight? Effing awesome. Witnessing an assault at a NYC multiplex because some "fucking ho!" (his words, not mine) wouldn't get in the back of the line? Priceless.

P.P.S. This? Double effing awesome!

Who wants to go back to high school?

Next spring will be my ten year reunion, but it certainly doesn't feel that long. I doubt I'll go to the reunion itself. I speak to one person on a semi-regular basis and keep up with the rest on Facebook only. As in, we never actually have to converse or interact with each other. I mean, really, do I want to?

Tomorrow there is a NYC alumni happy hour thing (I was a scholarship kid at an overpriced private boarding school where I felt out of place for 4 years, ok? shut up) happening which I haven't RSVP'd to but someone emailed me and asked if I was planning on going. Um, no? I'll get a drink with you but I don't really want to stand around awkwardly while everyone downs at least two drinks before they feel comfortable enough to approach that guy/girl who they sat next to in some class 10+ years ago. Other than this one person who emailed me, I don't know who I would really talk to. I was the girl everyone thought was smart and nice and no one had a problem with, but no one really noticed me one way or the other either. At least that's how I saw myself.

Maybe you all have close friends from high school and don't understand what I'm talking about. If so, you're clearly not my target audience. (Kidding! Keep reading! I love you!) But my close friends are mostly college and some law school based people, and thinking about the years 1995-1999, well, it pretty much seems like a lifetime ago.

So I don't think I'm gonna go. Tentative dinner plans with a real friend have just been finalized, and honestly, a real connection beats a fake trying-too-hard one any day of the week.

Coming up: a post for all the bar exam takers out there. To give you something to look forward to: it involves the police. And a sunburn.

How to Tire of Music.

Seems difficult, huh? Well, train for a marathon, and the same 1000 or so songs get old quickly. I haven't decided whether I'll be using the ipod during the actual marathon (Born to Run v. the cheering crowd?), but for now I've discovered the joy of audio books. I'm currently half way through one of James Patterson's Alex Cross murder mystery novels (I love them), but I feel the need to venture outside the box.

So, I'm taking recommendations. It needs to be engaging, intense but not requiring TOO much brain power, and possessing some quality which will make me focus on the story images in my head and not my breathing or the eventual ache in my legs, neck, shin, etc.

So what should I "read" next?

Wednesday Wonders

Every New Yorker who braves the subway platforms during the month of July deserves a medal.

Every wide eyed camera-toting tourist in New York in July deserves to be pushed/elbowed/yelled at for getting in the way of those of us who are trying to get somewhere on time.

Going on "vacation" and emailing me once an hour about X/Y/Z does not qualify as a vacation, and when I take my vacation, don't expect any emails. Or responses.

To the bar exam studier who cut in front of me on the line at Whole Foods last night because you were too absorbed in your BarBri notes, you're lucky. Once you pass, all bets are off and your ass will be kicked to the back of the line.

I feel the need to rearrange my already organized closet so that my work and casual clothes are lined up by color in addition to type.

I forgot my shoes and ended up wearing flip flops to court today. I was prepared to be all chagrined if necessary. No one cared.

Law & Order on TNT never gets old.

Super special cushioned synthetic socks - $15 per pair. The absence of debilitating blisters? Priceless.

Right on schedule.

I get this way every year around the 4th of July. I'm ready for fall already. Sweaters, crisp air, crunchy leaves. Ahh.

And it's so far away.

Cringe

In honor of our nation's independence, I slept in:) Training-wise, Friday is a rest day. Which are "just as important as hard and easy days." So I'm taking full advantage. I may venture out to a bookstore later before trekking across town to join a million people to watch the fireworks (weather permitting), but mostly I will be napping and watching bad TV.

Speaking of which, has anyone ever watched that 4th hour of the Today Show? With Hoda Kotbe and, ahem, Kathie Lee Gifford? It doesn't just make you roll your eyes. It's more like wincing. No one ever said Kathie Lee was brilliant, but um, did anyone ever notice she's a kind of a racist idiot in that ever-annoying innocent kind of way? There's not only this, but also this morning's god-awful imitation of her Chinese driver's accent and how they have scintillating conversations because he barely speaks a word of English. Hey Kathie Lee, I'm pretty sure he's faking it. If I had to drive your sorry ass around town, I would pretend I didn't speak English either.

On that note, happy 4th everyone!

Well, that's about par for the course.

My air conditioner just died.

Along with that little piece of my soul which takes note of every penny ripped from my bank account.